Perhaps The Sun Is Scared?
by i-am-invisible
Summary: Oneshot: Parody of the graveyard scene in the fourth movie. I didn't like this scene... so I wrote a parody, pointing out what I see as the flaws it contains. Please read and review.


This is a parody of the graveyard scene in the fourth Harry Potter movie. I personally didn't think this scene was well made (although some of the effects were great, like that cool smoke that formed itself into a cloak for Voldemort). In fact, I laughed most of the way through this scene, because Voldemort reminded me of Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise (star trek fans should understand). In fact, I am in the process of writing a story about this. Anyway.

Also, please correct me if I've got anything wrong: I don't actually own a copy of the fourth book and it wasn't in the library, so I didn't have that to refer to.

Disclaimer: Whatever you wish to sue me about: I DON'T OWN IT! Also, no offence is intended to any of the actors or camera people or the director… or anyone at all.

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"Bone of the father, unwillingly given…" Wormtail said, using his wand to bring a bone out of the grave and drop it into the fire.

"Cut!" cried the director. "It's _unknowingly given. Unknowingly, _not unwillingly."

"Meh," Wormtail said, shrugging. "No one will notice. And that bone looked great, we don't want to have to do it all again."

"But-"

"Don't worry about it," a cameraman said.

"Oh, alright," the director sighed. "Action!"

"Flesh of the servant, willingly given…" Wormtail drew out a sword and brought it down towards his arm. This was so disturbing, even the camera people couldn't bear to watch, and filmed Harry cringing instead.

"Blood of the enemy, unwillingly taken…" Wormtail said. His voice was strangely calm for someone who had just cut off his own hand.

"Aren't you meant to be all snivelly and crying?" Harry asked, and then screamed as Wormtail cut his arm. He raised the sword over the cauldron and tapped it menacingly so that the blood dripped off it.

Suddenly the potion in the cauldron rose up and began to form a humanoid shape. It looked quite amazingly like Gollum. But then it became more human, and some very clever black smoke from above floated around him and turned into a black cloak.

"Now that is cool," Harry said, impressed. Wormtail nodded.

"See, he doesn't want to be reborn naked," Wormtail explained.

"Shut up, you two!" hissed the director.

"Sorry," Harry whispered, turning back to the thing that was no longer Gollum. Voldemort felt his head with his hands, with his eyes closed, and predictably, his eyes flicked open.

"Wormtail!" he ordered. Wormtail hurried forward. "Give me your arm."

"Oh, thank you master…" Wormtail whimpered, holding out the arm that he'd cut his hand off. Again, the camera people couldn't bear to look at it - or even film it.

"Your other arm," Voldemort snapped.

"Oh, _fine._" Wormtail sighed unhappily and raised his other arm. Voldemort took it and pulled up the sleeve to reveal a faint tattoo. He raised his wand and pressed it to the mark, which immediately blackened and started wriggling around.

"Wormtail, shouldn't you be in terrible pain right now?" asked Harry.

"Oh, yeah… I should…" Wormtail mused. "Oh well, too late now. And anyway, Master, I thought you normally press the mark with your finger. Your wand is spiky!" Wormtail complained.

"Sorry, but it looks more impressive," Voldemort hissed.

The Death Eaters came. Voldemort unmasked them all, and when he did they fell to their knees. He then began to have a friendly conversation with Lucius Malfoy. He had a little talk with Harry and when Harry remarked, "You know, you look an awful lot like Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise", Voldemort got angry (he obviously wasn't a Star Trek fan) and caused Harry terrible pain. He then ordered Harry to duel.

They duelled. Sort of. The Death Eaters watched from the sidelines, enjoying the show.

"Avada kedavra!"

"Expelliarmus!"

Two cries were shouted simultaneously and the jets of light from each wand joined. Harry and Voldemort battled to avoid the huge bead of light getting too close to them.

Harry wondered vaguely why the bead of light was so bright. And, come to think of it, why was the graveyard so dark? It was the middle of the day. Inside the maze had been dark, understandably, because it had been made to be dark. But this was an ordinary graveyard.

Perhaps Voldemort's presence had scared the sun off.

Harry was jolted out of his thoughts when he saw Cedric.

"Take my body back to my parents," Cedric said. Harry was having too much trouble holding up his wand to respond. (I mean, honestly. A wand is just a bit of wood, it can't be _that _heavy.)

Then, Harry nearly had a heart attack when he saw his own parents. They told him what to do, as parents usually do, and as children (cough) usually (cough) do, he followed their instructions.

When the link between the Voldemort and Harry was broken, Harry stumbled over to Cedric's body and grabbed the Triwizard Cup.

With Voldemort no longer in the scene, the sun came out of wherever it was hiding. But its brightness was still blocked by the clouds so as to create a dismal feeling in the quidditch pitch. I feel sorry for that sun, sometimes. It's never allowed out in sad or scary scenes, only in happy ones. Poor thing.

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However, this scene (where Harry has brought Cedric's body back and everyone starts cheering… and then crying) was done beautifully. Therefore I have nothing to criticize and therefore I cannot continue this parody. It was so sad, and I was absolutely sobbing through the whole thing. I could never mock this scene.

Has anyone else noticed how the closest word that spell-checking things can find to "Voldemort" is "videoart"? hehehe…

Well, I don't know if this is any good or not, but thankyou for reading. Please review and tell me what you think.

Elise


End file.
